Do you want a better relationship with your horse?

Most of us are around horses because we love them, it's our passion, our escape, our little piece of freedom. Whether you own your own horse, share or have lessons there is a relationship created with a horse you spend time with. How do you feel about the relationship, is it just right? Could it be better? Do you have behavioural problems with your horse? Often the problems are from a lack of understanding from both sides. You've got a trainer, you've read the latest article on getting your horse to do what you want, but still you encounter problems on a daily basis. So what can you do about it? Work on yourself.

Our fears, our worries and our anxiety all inhibit our ability to communicate with our horses. We cannot interpret what they are trying to get across to us. Our horses want and need to be able to trust us so when we are incongruent they don't know what to do.

You might have a problem leading your horse, maybe she bolts past you, dragging you behind. You can pretend to be confident but if what your body and mind are saying is two different things, the horse is going to listen to your body and how tight you are holding that lead rope! Getting to the bottom of your negative emotions and releasing them from where they are stored will have a massive impact on your mind and body. Trapped emotions will keep coming up until they are dealt with.

This starts with awareness, first there needs to be acknowledgement of a problem or pattern that doesn't work for you anymore.

This could have many characteristics.......

Anger

Irritability

Anxiety

Depression

Overreaction

Blame I am no stranger to these emotions. My relationship with my horses was OK, at the time I thought it was better than ok, but now I feel differently. My once standoffish, cold mare is now cuddly and affectionate, willing and soft. I could have and easily did, label her a "typical mare", I now see that it was my behaviour causing her behaviour, my lack of awareness and presence. My bity "oh he's just being a pony" no longer bites me, coincidence? I think not!!

Labels are dangerous, they put a box around the issues we are facing and allow us to gloss over them without much consideration.

We are all a work in progress, learning along the way and hopefully wanting to do and be better for our horses.

Beth.x